Butterflies and Bella Lunas
by suspenders
Summary: Edward and Bella have been best friends since high school and now a lapse in judgement one night will change everything. Will he be able to win her heart before it's too late? Canon Pairings. M for a reason
1. Prologue

**A/N: I am not the Stephenie Meyer, these are not my characters, but they sure are fun to write about.**

**This story is a derivative of 5 Jason Mraz songs. I was listening to his lyrics one day and was completely struck by his story telling, not to mention he also writes some of the sexiest songs ever. This first part takes place just before the 1****st**** song kicks in, I guess you could call it the prologue. **

**(EPOV)**

"Edward?" She was obviously crying. _Panic. _No matter how many times I heard her cry the pain it caused me never lessened.

"Bella, what is it, what's wrong?" I could hear her breathing heavily on the other end. She was trying to compose herself enough to speak but was having a difficult time. I pulled myself together, hiding my own anxiety, and pulled out my most soothing voice.

"Bella, Bella calm down. Whatever it is we can get through it." I heard her take one more deep breath before finally responding.

"I just… I can't… can I come over?"

"Of course, are you okay to drive? Do you want me to come pick…" A knocking at the door interrupted my attempt at chivalry, she was already here. Bella and I had been best friends since high school. We have spent endless hours together since then. We were always there for each other, no questions asked. We once made pacts that if either of us were in jail we would call the other one for bail. The plan quickly fell through when we realized that if one of us were in jail the other probably was too. She saw me through my breakup with Victoria, I saw her through a string of unsuitable boyfriends. At the end of every relationship we always came back to each other. She was my warm pair of socks on a snowy day.

I quickly made my way to the door, "Why didn't you just use your key?" I flashed her the crooked smile she always teased me about in an attempt to distract her from whatever was causing this pain. She just looked at me, her chocolate brown eyes huge and full of tears. I could read her answer on her face as clear as if she had said it, she didn't know why, it had never even occurred to her that she had a key. The tears suddenly starting coming faster and I stepped back from the door frame to allow her entrance. She tripped over the rug on her way in.

"_Fuck… " _She crumpled onto the floor. Noticing that she was making no move to get up I joined her. I gently placed my hand under her chin and tilted her face up towards mine, I needed to look into her eyes. Sternly but sweetly I asked her what was going on. I couldn't stand it any longer, not knowing what was going on in her head was going to drive me insane.

"I walked in… _sniff…_ on James… _sniff…_ and Lauren." I took a piece of her hair from her face and pushed it behind her ear. I needed to keep my eyes locked onto hers, the fury that was filling me could only be contained if I focused on her face. In that moment I suddenly knew how people could use insanity as a justification for murder.

"I'll fucking kill him. Just say the word and I'll at the very least kick his ass." She giggled. Finally an emotion I could handle. Not being able to maintain my murderous gaze I answered her laugh with my own.

"How about a drink?" She eagerly nodded yes, that was the beginning of the end.

I stood up and offered my hands to her. I pulled her up off the ground in one quick motion and sat her down on the couch. I was suddenly glad Emmett, my brother and roommate, and his girlfriend Rosalie were away for the weekend. This was going to be a long night.

Before I realized what had happened we had made our way through a hell of a lot of vodka. I was definitely feeling it and by the look on her face she was too. She did a lot of talking about James and being her friend I listened. I will never understand why she didn't take these things to Alice. A girl would have done a much better job in this situation.

At some point Bella had laid her head in my lap and was looking up at me as we spoke. My hand was lying on her stomach and my other was at her hair. We often ended up like this, it was a comfortable place to be and I always enjoyed the closeness we shared.

In our drunkenness we started reminiscing. We somehow ended up talking about the night we practiced kissing on each other. We were sitting on the train station platform, pretending to be waiting for a train, talking and acting like idiots. We had been discussing our lack of experience with the opposite sex when an evil glint appeared in her eye. We decided to kiss each other. I always swore it was like kissing my sister, I never to this day admitted how much I had actually enjoyed it.

Suddenly and without warning the conversation turned. Bella shot up and turned to me, her face filled with worry.

"What if I never find anyone? What if I am meant to be alone forever or with cats, I hate cats, I'm allergic to cats! I find myself in one dead end relationship after another, it's like I can't get a grip on my life. I don't even have a fucking home anymore!"

She had given up her apartment when the magazine she writes travel articles for started sending her on more trips. She was currently living with my sister Alice and her boyfriend Jasper. She had met Alice before she met me and despite their differences became fast friends. I was a year older but we clicked immediately. She used to call us kindred spirits, that was during her _Anne of Green Gables _phase.

I looked down at her, I could feel her sadness mirrored in my eyes. I took her face in both of my hands, brought my forehead to hers and spoke to her in a slow deliberate voice.

"Bella, you are the smartest, funniest, most beautiful woman I have ever known. You are kind and loving and deserve to be happy. It will happen for you." I hoped she could see the sadness in my face shift to fierceness as I spoke those words. She was looking at me with those brown eyes again. They were opened up bigger than would seem possible. They were red and still damp from the many tears shed tonight. I ran my thumbs under her eyes hoping to take some of the exhaustion with them. What happened next took me by surprise. Before I knew what was happening Bella leaned in and kissed me.

The kiss was hard and urgent, I could feel her anger in the heat on her lips. She quickly moved her tongue toward my mouth and before I could gain control of the situation our tongues were intertwined. She brought her hands up to the back of my head and pulled me closer to her. Her hands tangled in my hair she pushed harder, moaning gently, as she massaged my entire mouth with her tongue. She had shifted her focus to my bottom lip, she began sucking and biting as if it had been the most delicious thing she had ever tasted. She left my still stunned mouth and began kissing down my neck. I took the opportunity to compose myself enough to stop what was happening. I gently pushed her away. _This has to stop._

I pulled her face up from my neck and with uneven breath attempted to be noble "Bella this isn't right, you're hurt and drunk and I don't want to do something we'll both regret. I don't want to do this with you. Not like this." I spoke those last words softly hoping she wouldn't hear the torment in my voice.

Part of me, namely my dick, started yelling _what the fuck?!_ She was gorgeous and throwing herself at me. It had been quite some time since I had a relationship with anything other than my right hand. The other part of me, the one that spoke, knew this was wrong. I loved Bella, we were best friends but that was it. I knew if this continued any longer we would both be altered forever.

Despite my pleading she continued to bore into me with her eyes. They were burning a hole in my chest and her pain was filling every inch of me.

"Edward, please don't stop. I need you tonight, I need to feel like somebody cares about me, like somebody loves me. Please." At that my will collapsed. While my hard-on twitched with the apparent victory my head was trying to justify what was happening. She was hurting and she needed me. We were there for each other always, no questions asked. I began the kiss where we left off and before I knew it we had moved to my bedroom.

**Well there it is. The prologue! What did you think? I am still very new at this whole fan fiction scene and reviews are welcome and appreciated. ******


	2. Chapter 1

**I, of course, do not own these characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

Chapter 1

**(BPOV)**

_Ugh._

I slowly opened one eye as the brightness of the day invaded my sleep. _Damn it all to hell, why is that so fucking bright and why am I chewing on cotton balls and what is that wonderful smell? _

I slowly rolled over in the bed, _hmm these sheets don't look familiar,_ only to find another person in the bed with me. I panicked for a moment trying to gather my memory of the previous night when I recognized the mass of bronze colored hair. It was in disarray and I smiled, until I realized it was sex hair. Then I realized it was sex hair that I had created and it all came flooding back in a wave of nausea I could barely contain. I took some deep breaths trying to calm myself.

_What have I done? I fucked my best friend, shit what do I do. I could call my best friend and get his opinion, oh right he's the one laying in bed next me naked. _

I turned to look at him again and suddenly felt calmer. An unrecognizable feeling washed over me as my eyes settled on his perfect shoulders, and then his perfect neck, and then his hair… _oh no._

I drew my gaze away, focusing on anything but him. I found what looked like a stuffed animal sitting on his dresser and let my eyes attach to it. _Wait, is that a fucking Furby, really a Furby? Focus Bella._

I quickly realized what was happening; the utterly ridiculous girl in me was associating best friend sex with love. _Nope, no way, nada, not gonna happen, kick that in the ass now._

Rationally I knew that what I was feeling had to be a result of last night. I was hurt and he was there to pick up the pieces, again. I did love him, like a brother. _Is that right? Am I really trying to convince myself incest is okay because that would somehow be better than really loving Edward._

I eased my curious little eyeballs back in his direction. An amazing sense of tranquility overtook me as I watched the small movements his body made as he breathed. The muscles in his back twitched and stretched with each inhale and I knew I needed to see more. I leaned up on my elbow raising my head just enough to see his profile.

_Had he always been so beautiful? How have I missed this?_

As I stared at him my mind drifted over the years. I thought of him in high school and college. I thought of him sans shirt by the pool and grinning ear to ear when he was accepted to med school. The truth was I had always been aware of his striking appearance. I remembered the kiss we shared on the train platform so many years ago and how awestruck I was by him. His face, his tenderness, the way he barely touched my face like he was afraid I might break under his unsteady hands. I shook my head bringing my brain from the boy I knew in the past to the man I was lying next to in the present.

I let my gaze follow the contours of his face. His strong jaw was covered in stubble, his lips were pink and slightly parted, his eyes were closed and he looked peaceful. I started wondering if what I was feeling was more than residual lust. My mind wandered as I thought of Edward and me together, as a couple. We looked happy. We laughed and talked just like always but there was something else there. There was a spark, in my daydream we had a spark. I continued to stroll through my imaginary Edwardian utopia and could clearly see that after the talking and laughing there was kissing and love making. _Am I really considering this?_

_Yes. I really am._

All this time I thought I was looking for something unattainable. I went from guy to guy never feeling like I belonged with any of them. I was hurt and I hurt others. In my desperate attempts to find love and acceptance I found every lousy guy out there. Some stuck around long enough to break my heart and other hearts I broke before they could have the chance.

As I delved into my ghosts of relationships past I decided I couldn't do this to Edward. Looking at him I knew I couldn't induct him into the crappy relationship hall of fame that was my life. I cared too much about him to be with him, I was not nearly good enough for him, and I thought I might die as I considered being left by him.

_Nope, this is wrong. He deserves better than me and I couldn't live through the moment he figured that out._

I tried to convince myself to get up and slip out the door before he awoke. I had let myself get wrapped up in a daydream and now it was time to back out gracefully. I sat up and as I swung my legs off the bed my foot got caught in the sheet and I headed towards the floor. In a stroke of genius I reached out for the night table and stabilized myself, at the expense of the lamp. The lamp fell over and Edward sat up so quickly I gasped, lost my grip, and ended up on the floor anyway.

I looked up towards the bed and he was looking down at me. A piece of his hair had fallen into his face, he had that stupid crooked grin on and his eyes… his eyes were different. They were soft and loving? I looked into his green eyes trying desperately to decipher the secret message he was sending me.

_I think it's love, could it be he's feeling for me what I might be for him? _

In that moment I changed my mind and decided if he could look at me like that there must be something worth fighting for. I did my best to return the look and he reached his hand down to me and helped me up. The moment our hands touched I felt it. Something that had never been there before in all of the touching we had done over the years, a spark. I felt a real live, watch out flammable liquid, lifesaver making spark. _I wonder if those lifesavers really spark when you bite them.. hmm…focus on Edward and the look on his face._

I sat down on the bed and for the first time in a very long time I didn't know what to say to my best friend. The silence was deafening. We were never uncomfortable with silence, I knew him well enough that we didn't need words and quiet was always companionable. This was different. This was awkward and clumsy and I hated every second of it.

I turned to him and started to open my mouth to speak but couldn't find the right words to express what I was feeling. _What am I feeling? Do I love him? Like really love him? Is that even okay? What is he thinking? I need to know._

I closed my mouth with an audible snap and Edward giggled. That was all it took. I started laughing uncontrollably and the tense moment had passed. Once we contained our giggles Edward turned the full force of his green eyes on me and I understood why girls swooned around him.

"Bella, what are you thinking? Honestly."

"Honestly? I have no fucking clue. I don't know what to make of this, of last night, I don't know much of anything at the moment."_Why did I say that? Is that right? I guess it must be._

I briefly sunk my head into my hands and looked up at Edward. The love in his eyes was gone. It hadn't been replaced by the Edward I knew, instead they were cold and void of feeling. I had already screwed this up before I was even sure I wanted something to screw up. I did the only thing I knew how and tried to return the empty stare.

"Well, I guess that was honest. I'll tell you what I'm thinking. Last night was a decent fuck, thanks for that by the way, now let's get with our day."

_What. The. Hell?_

I was shocked. Shocked might be the underfuckingstatement of the year. Something indescribably terrible had transpired here in the last 2 minutes. The mood in the room went from love and laughter to anger and hurt. I was honest, isn't that what he wanted? I thought I could always be honest with Edward. This was going nowhere good fast and I could feel the heat building in my face and the salty moisture building in my eyes. _I need to get out of here now, I cannot handle this._

"Oh yeah, thanks to you too." I tried to put on my best impression of flippant, I was hoping he had bought it. I used every ounce of effort in me to push all of the almost love out of my head and heart and quickly got out of the bed. I grabbed my clothes, quickly got dressed in the bathroom and said good bye as I walked out. I was vaguely aware of people sitting at a table but I was too focused on the front door to confirm my suspicions.

**(EPOV)**

_Sun, I hate you. You are an evil bastard and I wish you would just roll over and die._

As my mind slowly crawled its way out of the foggy darkness that was drunken sleep I became more aware of my surroundings. I was laying on the very edge of my bed, _that's odd I usually sleep in the middle,_ I couldn't hear much besides some birds outside and… someone else breathing? I could hear the small even breaths coming from behind me and was immediately kicked in the balls with a flashback.

_I had sex with Bella last night. ShitFuckShit, now what. Whadoido? Oh I know, call my best friend, oh yeah I can't she's next to me naked. Mmm Bella naked… _

I allowed myself the distraction of remembering the events of last night. It had all started in the worst kind of way, Bella was upset, we were drunk and I let things go too far. It didn't end that way though. Somewhere in the middle of drunk fucking I could feel everything changing. With each touch, each kiss, I started to feel like I wasn't just fuckin' my best friend, I started to feel like I was… _God I can't even fucking think it. My man card will officially be revoked if I even think the phrase "making love" in the same vicinity of drunk fucking. _

Man card in hand or not I definitely felt something and I can say with at least some certainty I am still feeling it. It was like being on a drug induced high and I was enjoying every second of it. My senses were overwhelmed with the morning light and Bella's smell. She smelled so fucking good and I can't believe I had never noticed before. I can't believe my best friend had always smelled so good. I had missed out on years of enjoying that wonderful intoxicating smell.

_Am I really allowing this to happen? Am I really willing to risk what Bella and I have for a feeling that might be based purely on sex? Is it based on last night? No, I don't think so. _

I tried to figure out what to say to her,

"Uh Bella last night was great I love you." _Nope_

"Bella I think I love you, it's not just the sex talking" _No._

"It turns out your really hot, let's fuck again." _Definitely no. _

Just as I was deciding that I wanted more with Bella and my plan was becoming more concrete I could hear a rustling noise emanating from her corner of the bed. _Hmm her corner of the bed, I like the sound of that. _The rustling was quickly replaced by a loud bang as my lamp fell over. I shot up and watched as Bella gaped at me and immediately hit the floor. I did my best to contain my laughter as I leaned over the end of the bed and stared down at her. She looked up at me with the warmest eyes I have ever seen.

She was looking at me like she loved me. At least I think that's what it was. Her eyes were soft and deep and I was hoping my gaze mirrored that. After helping her back onto the bed and laughing our way past the most awkward silence of my life I finally turned to her and asked her the one thing I absolutely needed to know.

"Bella, what are you thinking? Honestly."

"Honestly? I have no fucking clue. I don't know what to make of this, of last night, I don't know much of anything at the moment." _Whoa. That is not what I was expecting._

I don't know why I was so bothered but her words cut through me like nothing I have ever experienced. The moment the knife went in I felt all the love I thought I had spill out and get replaced with something much darker. I was so sure there was something more here, I really thought that maybe I wasn't just the dickhead who fucked his best friend. Her uncertainty in this moment spoke volumes. Her uncertainty meant that my certainty wasn't real. I was the guy that did this, that fucked this up. _Oh well Edward so much for love, suck that shit up and let's get this over with._

"Well, I guess that was honest. I'll tell you what I'm thinking. Last night was a decent fuck, thanks for that by the way, now let's get with our day."

As soon as the words left my mouth I knew they were wrong. I knew they sounded much worse out in the air than they did in my head. I knew that she was just being honest and I was the asshole who couldn't handle it. I knew I had just hurt my best friend. The look in her eyes was all I needed. She responded coolly but I could see the hurt in her damp eyes. As she picked up her stuff and left everything immediately felt wrong. The bed felt empty, the apartment felt empty, I felt empty. Something changed in me that night, I wasn't sure what but I felt different.

I stared at the ceiling for a while trying to decide what to do next. _Do I love her? _

I decided the feelings I had were left over lust, must have been. I also decided I needed to talk to Bella, I needed to apologize. A part of me would be forever broken if she were out of my life. I got out of bed with a new resolve and headed for the bathroom.

"Was that Bella who just stormed out here?" _Emmett, shit._

**If someone out there is reading my story please leave a review. I am new to the world of fan fiction and reviews are awesomeness. ******


	3. Chapter 2

**I, of course, do not own these characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer. **

**If anyone is still reading, I'm sorry I have taken so long to add this chapter. I hope you enjoy it. **

Chapter 2

**(BPOV)**

I left the cursed home of my best friend, _is he still my best friend, shit,_ and ran for my car. I finally reached it and opened the door so violently I thought for sure I would pull it right off the hinges. I quickly sat down in the driver's seat and started banging my head against the steering wheel. _Fuck, that hurts._

I pulled my head up from the wheel and the tears I worked so hard to contain while in his bed were now leaving a long wet trail down my face and into my lap. I sat in my car desperately trying to control my breathing and stop the tears. If I tried to drive home right now I would surely wrap my car around a tree and I just couldn't do that my Dad.

I allowed myself to glance back at his front door.

I was sure that my best friend would come after me.

Any moment now he would come tearing out that door to save me.

Any moment he would come to my car and make the tears go away.

He didn't. He won't. He can't save me from the tears he caused.

I tried in vain to figure out what just happened. I did it, it was my fault. He may have acted like a dickhead at the end but it was my weakness that brought us there.

What does this mean for us? Will he ever forgive me for risking our relationship the way I did? _Stop it Swan, this is his fault as much as it is yours._

Instantaneously all my hurt and guilt shifted to anger and fury. He fucked me just as much as I fucked him. _He_ is the one who killed _me_ with his words. I was gripping the steering wheel so tightly I thought the skin on my knuckles would peel away. If I let go I would likely run back into the house and murder Edward. I wouldn't even be able to call my best friend and ask his help burying the body.

I took one more breath and decided I needed to go home, now. I started the car and for just a moment my brain was quiet enough to hear the beeping coming from my purse. I pulled out my cell phone. _Ugh, James._

15 missed calls and 13 text messages_. Really? He fucking cheated on me he doesn't get to stalk my phone. _Out of what could only be described as a morbid curiosity I started flipping through my text messages.

_Bella I am so sorry… delete._

_Bella please call me… delete._

Blah, blah, blah, delete, delete, delete. The last message caught my eye.

_Bella, I don't deserve your time but I will be at our diner at 10 am. I hope you will meet me and let me explain._

I glanced at my clock, I could still make it. If I went to the diner and met with James I could hold off on thinking about Edward. I could lock it up for a little while longer, I could die a little later in the day.

As I drove towards _his _diner, he could fucking have it I never liked that greasy nasty ass place anyway, I thought about what I would say to him. I was so mad and hurt and fucked and I just needed to have a little fun. I knew I could take all of my Edwardaggression out on James. I never really loved James, I'm not even sure I liked him. I quickly realized I had only been upset last night because my ego was bruised and I had just participated in another piece of shit relationship.

I stormed into the diner and gathered all of my inner bitch as I sat down across from James. I knew I must have looked like I had been crying. I hated to give him the satisfaction of thinking my tears were for him.

They were for a different him.

An important him.

A him that made me and broke me in mere hours. A tear left my eye and I quickly found my anger again.

James, having noticed the tear, had a patronizing look on his face. He reached up to wipe the tear from my face and I swatted his hand away with such vigor that I could feel the sting in my own hand.

"Don't touch me James. I'm here what do you want."

"Bella don't be like that, I'm sorry really I am, you were never supposed to see th-" I cut his ass off.

"I was never supposed to see that? You were supposed to sleep around on me without me knowing? Was that your evil master plan?" I knew I had crossed over from anger to insanity when I started laughing. To say I was laughing was an understatement. I was in complete and utter hysterics. Why had I ever dated this moron?

"Bella, no, I just, please give me another chance." I reached and patted him on the jaw.

"Oh, James. Pretty, stupid, little James. _You_ cheated on _me._ Remember? You don't get another chance. I will give you something. After I get up from this booth, you can watch my ass walk out the door."

I took a sip from his coffee, got up and walk out the door. I didn't even trip, until I got outside.

I was right, that was fun. I internally applauded my confidence with James. Unfortunately I used up all my confidence on him and now all I wanted to do was hide under my pillow and never think about or see he-whose-name-I-dare-not-speak ever again.

I pulled into Alice's driveway and she was sitting outside waiting for me. Either Edward had called her or she had tapped into her inner Miss Cleo because she clearly knew I was not okay. She came right up to the door and hugged me with such intensity that I almost thought she would squeeze the pain right out. To my deep dismay, she stepped back and pain remained.

She pulled my lifeless shell of a body into the house and pushed me onto the couch. She didn't have to try hard, I so was physically and emotionally exhausted that I could not have fought back if I wanted to. She came back in from the kitchen holding ice cream, oreos, milk, and two spoons. She sat down on the floor in front of where I sat on the couch.

I let my body slide down the leather of the sofa and sat on the floor with Alice. She just stared at me. She fucking stared until I couldn't take it anymore. I knew it was her plan and damn her it worked every time.

"Alice I don't even know where to start." I stuck my spoon into the ice cream and dug out the biggest scoop possible. I shoved it into my mouth and kept talking.

"I just…_chew_…last night…_chew_… I caught James…_swallow_…cheating on me."

"That asshole, I'm goi-"

"Stop, it turns out I don't care. James was a fucktard and if he hadn't cheated on me I would've ended it eventually anyway. It's what happened after that's the bigger problem. Didn't Edward call you?" Surely he called. Surely he called to tell her, or ask her advice, or ask about me. Surely what happened had some kind of effect on him.

"No he didn't. Is he okay? Do you want me to call him, I'm sure he'd come over."

"No he won't. He's kind of the problem." I lowered my head, hid behind my hair and uttered to next words so quickly that I had to strain to understand them.

"IsleptwithEdwardlastnight."

"You what?"

"Oh Alice, you heard me don't make me say it again." She started bouncing up and down and had a huge smile on her face like I told her I was sending her to Paris on shopping spree.

"That is so great! I always knew you two were meant for each other. OhmyGod I have to tell Jasper. JA-" I not so gingerly covered her mouth with my hand and held it there until she bit me.

"Ouch Alice. Please don't tell Jasper, it didn't exactly go well."

"Noooooooooooooooooooo! Is Edward bad in bed? No wait, never mind I don't want to know."

"No Alice, he was, well, it was, kind of amazing." She squeed, I blushed.

"Wait Alice, before you call the whole famdamnly, things didn't go well this morning." I could feel the tears start to well in my eyes. I had tried very hard not to relive the events of today but now they all came back to me and my resolve to be strong vanished. Alice watched me as I fell apart and sobbed. I cried and I wrapped my arms around my waist because I had to hold myself together. No one else would be here to hold me together.

I started to tell Alice what happened, but I just couldn't. I was embarrassed and hurt and it was her brother. If things go down the way I expect them to, Edward and will no longer be… I can't think it. Whatever happens I don't want Alice to feel like she has to choose between me and her brother. She sat on the floor with me and hugged me until I could finally speak again.

"Alice, I'm sorry, I just can't talk right now. I think I just need to go to bed." She nodded and didn't argue and for that I was incredibly grateful. I schlepped to my room and tossed my body onto the bed. I stared up at the ceiling and let the pain wash over me. Without Edward I didn't know how to be me. I knew I would have to talk to him soon but I didn't know what to say.

Why was I so upset by this? I wasn't in love with Edward and he sure as hell wasn't in love with me, this morning's events certainly proved that much, so why did his dismissal bother me so much? I knew I wasn't good enough for him. I knew I would only manage to ruin us if we crossed over into relationshipland, and yet his rejection of me tore a hole in my heart. Maybe it hurt so badly because it confirmed every insecurity I had about myself. Maybe it hurt so much because the one man I trusted to love me unconditionally as a best friend made me feel like a whore.

Convinced I wouldn't be able to come to any sort of conclusion I resumed staring at the ceiling. I stared for hours. I fell asleep, woke up and stared again. 24 hours after I fell apart in front of Alice I finally got out of bed. I picked my cell phone off the night stand and checked the display. No missed calls. As I stared at the phone hoping he would call it actually rang. _Rosalie._

"We're going out bitch. Don't argue. Alice called me, I'm coming over and we're all going out."

Before I could argue Rosalie hung up. I knew I wouldn't win so I got in the shower and mentally prepared myself for a night out with Rosalie.

**(EPOV)**

"Was that Bella who just stormed out here?" _Emmett, shit._

"Emmett, I thought you and Rosalie were going away this weekend."

"We did but we ended up coming back early. Was that Bella? She looked, I don't know what she looked." He must have noticed that I was headed into the bathroom, naked.

"Oh shit dude! Did you sleep with Bella last night." I couldn't help the growl that escaped my lips.

"Emmett get the fuck out!" Taking my less than subtle hint Emmett left mumbling something about me being an oversensitive prick under his breath.

I knew I would talk to him eventually but not now. I couldn't talk now. The only one I really wanted to talk to just ran out of my room and took a big piece of me with her. My resolve to talk to Bella faded as the guilt over my harsh words settled in. I did what any other man would do, I got back into bed.

Bella was gone and all I could do was lay there with my face in my pillow. I know I should go after her, a good friend would go after her, but I couldn't. I couldn't do anything but lay there, with morning wood. _This is really inappropriate. _

I reflected over the events of the morning, the looks, the words, the awful words, and cried. I actually fucking cried. If Emmett walked in here right now and saw my sorry ass crying he'd kick me in the balls and asked if I needed a Tampon for my pussy.

It didn't matter though. All that mattered was Bella. I still wasn't sure if I was in love with her but I was sure of the love I had for my best friend. Best friends don't say shit that like to each other. I couldn't lose her, she was my better half and I wouldn't, no, I couldn't go through my life without her.

Despite the confidence I had in her role in my life I couldn't figure out what to do. In my haze of serious stupidity I almost called Bella and asked her opinion. Then I cried harder because I couldn't. I gathered every ounce of energy I had headed to the bathroom again. This time I made it.

I turned on the water and made it as hot as I could stand. I enjoyed the pain as the scalding water washed my guilt away. Only it couldn't. No matter how hard I scrubbed, no matter how red the heat made my skin, the guilt and the anguish was still there.

I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my pink flesh. I found a t-shirt and some fuzzy pants to throw on and walked out to confront the firing squad that was Emmett.

"Edward."

"Emmett."

So we stared at each other, just like two grown men are supposed to do. He broke the silence first. _Ha ha, I win._

"Are you ready to tell me what the fuck went on here last night?"

"No. Yes. I don't know. Fuck Emmett, I really fucked up." I dropped my head into my hands, between Bella and my still present hangover I'm pretty sure my head weighed about 85 pounds. I rubbed my hands over my scruffy jaw and let out a loud sigh.

"Have a seat little bro and let your big brother take the pain away." He patted the seat next to him inviting me to come over. He had already place a full cup of coffee on the table for me. _I love you Emmett._

"So Edward, you and Bella finally get it on and what… " He gestured in a way that was clearly intended to persuade me to continue. _Wait, finally?_

"What do you mean by finally?"

"Later Edward, First tell me what went down."

"No not later, what the hell did you mean by finally?"

"Listen Eddie, it's no big surprise that you and Bella did the nasty. It's only a surprise that it took so long. I am also a little surprised that it seemed to end badly. None of us bet on… oops." I growled, again. Only Emmett could bring this out of me.

"What do you mean by that Emmett? Start from the beginning, I am no mood for your shit today." I said it slowly while I clenched my fists, trying not to hit Emmett, trying not to break everything in this apartment.

"Okay, okay. We all, Alice, Jasper, Rose, and I have a little pool going on. We can all see that you and Bella are totally in love with each other. So we each put money down on how long it would take you two to see it. Alice and I thought you would make the first move within the next few months and Rose and Jasper both thought you were too much of a pretty boy pussy, their words not mine, to make the first move. They both thought Bella would finally cave and make the first move. So…. Who made the first move?"

I lost it then. I lunged at Emmett and did my best to punch him, hard. Unfortunately Emmett is bigger and less hung over and he had me pinned in 10 seconds flat.

"Let me go Emmett, I'm fine."

"I do not love Bella. I mean we do not love each other. I mean I love her as a friend grrrrrrargh. I don't know what I mean" I could hear the shaky uncertainty in my voice as I tried to describe the feelings I did have for Bella. _Did I love Bella? _

There were a few moments this morning when I thought so, but we all know how that ended. I said the wrong thing, I felt the wrong thing, and I hurt the one person in my life I truly needed. Suddenly the enormity of the morning's events hit me again and I couldn't breathe. I felt like a hand had reach into my chest and pulled my heart out, I felt that way because that is exactly what happened.

Bella, my Bella, she left. I did it.

My fault.

I was brought out of my downward spiral by Emmett waving his hands in front of me and screaming my name.

"Earth to Edward! Hellllloooooo Edward!"

"Ugh, what the hell Emmett? Please just let me stew in my own miserableness."

"Look Eddo, I don't know what went on between you and Bella and I don't care. I do care that you don't seem to be man enough to fix it. You need to go after her, check on her, call her, something. She looked broken when she left here and if you don't try to fix her I will kick your ass."

I drug myself back to bed and crawled in. I needed to think so I got into my thinking pose, eyes scrunched fingers pinching the bridge of my nose. I waited for brilliance to come, it never did. I stayed in bed for the rest of the day and all through the next night.

Eventually I pulled my sorry ass out of bed and sat at my piano. I started to play and all of my sadness rolled through my fingers and the music emanating from the keys mirrored my pain. My mind drifted back to what Emmett said.

24 hours had passed since the incident and I still hadn't made any attempts to contact Bella. I knew he was right, I needed to call Bella. I needed to go find Bella, but I couldn't. I was too afraid.

Afraid of doing the wrong thing.

Afraid of saying the wrong thing.

Afraid that I couldn't be the man she needed me to be right now.

Terrified that I loved her and that it wouldn't be enough to fix this.

**A/N: Well there it is…. Leave me a review and let me know what you think. ******


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello there! It is now time for a shameless plug. I entered TheThreeSmutketeers Steamy Movie Crossover. The name of the story is Love in an Office Space. Check it out and if you like it vote. :)**

**I, of course, do not own these characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer. **

Chapter 3

**(BPOV)**

It's been just over a day since _the incident._

I had just showered and felt marginally better.

_Sure, marginally better. I no longer smell like he-who-is too-evil-for-me-to-say-his-name-again and I haven't cried for like 20 whole minutes._

I really didn't want to go out but I knew I wasn't solving anything held up in Alice and Jasper's guest room. I was also pretty sure Rosalie would kick my ass until I felt better. That's just how she rolled.

I knew going out meant Alice would insist on beautifying me so I didn't bother to rectify the awfulness that was my face. It was still red and blotchy and my eyes were puffy and a stunning shade of purple.

_God, I look stoned. I kinda wish I were stoned…_

I stuck my hair up in a pony tail, grabbed some comfy clothes and headed to the living room.

I was greeted by Jasper.

"Hey babe. You look like ass."

"Jasper, you always know just what to say to make a girl feel better."

I actually did feel a little better. He always knew what I needed and what I didn't. Today I didn't need sympathy or coddling I needed everyone to just be normal. He winked and grinned at me before returning to the television. His eyes never left the screen as he patted the seat next to him on the couch.

"Where's your lovely girlfriend?"

"Your lovely best friend is showering." The shit eating grin growing on his face gave away his role in her needing a shower.

"Jasper, you dirty dog."

"What can say, your best friend is hot. Bells…"

"Don't Jasper."

"I wasn't gonna. I was simply going to ask if I needed to kick his ass. I also wanted to let you know that Alice and I discussed it and despite her being Edward's sister you get us in the divorce." He grinned and I couldn't help but return it. _Damn he is so good at this._

"Thanks Jazz."

"Anytime babe."

I heard a commotion coming from their bedroom, Alice must have been deciding on an outfit. I knew I had at least an hour before she would be ready so I snuggled into a blanket left on the couch and turned to the television.

"Jasper I may be in love with you. Are you watching Howard the Duck?"

"Damn straight."

"Bitchin'."

"That duck is the fucking man." He actually looked in awe of the duck on the screen, Alice really was lucky. Just then Rosalie came tearing through the living room. She came right up to me and kicked me in the shin.

"Ow Rosalie, what the fuck?"

"Why didn't you call me? Why did I have to hear about this from Alice and Emmett?"

"I'm sorry Rose…"

"Whatever bitch, just don't let it happen again." She sat in my lap and gave me a big hug before getting up and heading in to the kitchen. She came back with the oreos. _I have the best fucking friends._

"Bella, you should know Emmett has talked to Edward and he feels like shit. You should also know I don't care how Edward feels, chicks before dicks. Furthermore you should know, since I own Emmett's dick, he doesn't care how Edward feels either." She flashed a beautifully evil grin. _I'm glad she's on my side._

"Rose as much as I appreciate that, _he_ must be upset. _He_ must need his brother. Wait, how much did _he_ tell Emmett?"

I hadn't been able to tell Alice everything that happened between he-who-has-no-name-other-than-dickhead and me. I still wasn't sure I wanted her know everything. She was one of my best friends and I felt bad keeping it from her, but I was afraid it would hurt her. If she knew how I behaved and what he-who-must-be-called-turdsandwich said she would be disappointed in both of us and I just couldn't handle that.

"Oh Bella, cut the Mother Teresa bullshit. What Edward said was ass and Emmett told him so."

"So Emmett told you what he… I mean… you know what… Please don't tell Alice, not yet." I hoped the look in my eyes conveyed the proper amount of begging.

"Why the hell not? She should know her brother acted like a complete douche."

"I just, I am just as guilty as _he_ is and I couldn't stand it if Alice was disappointed in me or_ him_."

"Babe." _Jasper, shit._

"I don't know what you're keeping from Alice and it's not my business but it will bite you on the ass. First, she always knows. If she comes home and I dropped a book earlier in the day, the crazy little midget knows. Second, she won't be disappointed in you or _him_." _Ah, he noticed_. I couldn't help but grin again.

"She loves you both and would only ever want for you two to be happy. Third, if she finds out she'll be pissed. If nothing else, you can't do that to _me."_

"Fuck you and your infinite Yoda wisdom Jasper." I get off the couch, grab Rosalie, and drag her to Alice's bedroom.

"Alice, cover up your boobs and your hooha, we're coming in."

We walked in and found Alice organizing her shoes.

"I thought you were getting dressed."

"I was, but I got distracted." She couldn't even fake a sheepish smile, she was enjoying herself too much.

"I'm ready to spill."

"Excellent, I knew you would be. Sit."

I sat down and told Alice the whole story beginning to end. I probably shared a little more than she bargained for when I got to the whole sex with he-whose-name-I won't-say-again. Rosalie wanted details.

Honestly, sex with he-whose-name-should-be-fucktard was the best I had in a really long time, maybe ever.

After I was done Alice took a deep breath and looked me right in the eye.

"Bella, I'm glad you told me everything. After a careful review of the evidence you still get me and Jasper in the divorce. I love my brother but right now I really want to kick him in the nuts."

"Alice please don't be mad at him…"

"Bella, Bella, Bella. Don't worry about me. Let's go shopping. We're going out tonight and it's important we find you a slutastic outfit."

"Yeah Bells, there is no better medicine for your grumpy ass attitude than a hot boy with a big-"

"I get it Rosalie. Thanks."

With that we were off to the mall. I have done my fair share of shopping, I am an excellent by myself shopper. I see what I like, I know what fits me and I buy it. I rarely try stuff on and I am usually in and out with my intending target. I guess you could call me a sniper shopper. I was quick, efficient, and always got my mark. Alice and Rosalie were nothing like me. On most shopping trips their extended perusing would have agitated the shit out of me but not today. Today I was glad for the distraction.

We wandered the mall for what seemed like hours until Alice started screeching and jumping up and down.

"Rosalie, do you see what I see?"

"Hell yeah bitch! Bella we have found it, the slutabulous dress of your dreams."

"Where?"

"Are you blind? Right there in the window."

"No Rosalie I am not blind. Which one… wait you don't mean… that one?"

"Yes that one. Rosalie grab her other arm, we're going in."

The sales woman brought the dress over to me in my size and I brought it to the dressing room. It had a deep blue corset top with a matching skirt. When I say skirt, I mean sock. The damn thing barely covered my ass but the corset did excellent things for my boobs. I was admiring myself in the mirror when I was struck by a memory.

"_Bella stop complaining."_

"_Why should I stop complaining? We are at prom."_

"_Bella, stop complaining for me." He stuck out his lip and gave me the saddest puppy dog eyes._

"_Okay fine. I am still not dancing."_

"_Oh yes you are."_

"_How can you be so sure Edward?" He leaned in till he was right at my ear._

"_Have I told you how beautiful you look in that color blue? As breathtaking as you look it would be a waste not to flaunt you around the dance floor." He tilted his head down and kissed my neck right behind my ear. I rolled my eyes and he dragged me to our table._

The memory flooded my brain and overtook my senses. I looked around and noticed I was on the floor and Rosalie and Alice were hugging me. I was sobbing uncontrollably.

************

We finally made it home and of course both Rosalie and Alice insisted that we still go out tonight. After my little episode in the dressing room I really needed another shower.

I turned the water on, as hot as my skin could handle, and climbed into the shower. I stood there and let the pain over take me again. I was silently sobbing and trying to figure out what I was sobbing for.

Was it the friend I may have lost?

Was it his harsh words?

Was it the possibility of a future I may never see?

Was it for love I'd never get to experience?

Before I could come to any solid conclusions there was a banging at the bathroom door. It scared the shit out of me and I knocked over every bottle sitting on the tub.

"Bella, hurry your ass up! It's getting late and we still have to pretty you up!"

"Back off! I'll be out in a second. Shit."

I climbed out of the shower and toweled off. When I finally made it to my bedroom I found Rosalie and Alice waiting for me with scowls on their faces.

"Lets go Bella dear, we don't have all night." Rosalie was always such a charmer.

Wrapped in my robe, I sat down at my desk chair and waited for the succubus to descend. Rosalie worked on drying my long hair while Alice lovingly covered my face in makeup. An hour later they were done. I had my dress on, the blue one, and a killer pair of heals. By killer I mean literally dangerous, but they were sexy as hell. They walked me over to my mirror and I could only stare.

"Well Bella, what do you think?" Alice had an arrogant grin on her face. She knew she had done well.

"Shit Bella, I would totally fuck you. You know, if I still did that kinda thing."

I couldn't find words to thank them for making me feel beautiful for the first time since the he-whose-name-should-be-dickwad incident. I turned to each of them and hugged them fiercely. I tried to express all of my love and gratitude to my best friends in a tight embrace.

We left my room and found Jasper and Emmett sitting on the couch.

"Well, well, well Bella. Someone cleans up nice."

I couldn't help but blush at Jasper's compliment.

A small voice replied with a, "Thanks." I barely recognized my own squeak. With that we headed out.

*******************

**(APOV)**

As soon as I talked to Rosalie about Bella she decided we needed to go out. I knew what I had to do. I strolled over to my handsome man and put my plan into motion.

"Hey Jazz?"

"Yes my dear?"

"So there has been some Belward drama."

"Uh huh…" He motioned for me to continue. He knew me so well.

"We have to fix it. They are meant for each other and we have to help them fix it."

"Sweetie, I love them as much as you do but it's up to them."

"Oh shut up Jazz, I'm not looking for approval only acceptance. I am not going to butt in, not really. We are taking Bella out tonight. _You_ need to make sure Edward is there." I poked him in the chest for effect. I knew he would argue some and then cave. He always caved. I hope he will eventually notice this and cut the foreplay.

"Al, are you sure that's a good idea?"

"I know Bella and I know my brother and they are way too stubborn to make the first move. We just need to make sure they are at the right place at the right time."

"Okay fine. I'll call Emmett and suggest we all go out." I smiled my biggest smile at him, stood up, and beckoned him to the bedroom.

***************

After some shopping, a Bella meltdown, and a special episode of extreme makeover: Bella edition we were ready to hit the club. I called Jasper to make sure he had followed through with his side of the plan and he assured me Edward would be at the club. Jazz filled me in on bits and pieces of his conversation with Edward and I couldn't wait to get my little hands on all the gory details. He did indicate to me that Edward was starting to realize the extent of his feelings for Bella.

_Ha! I knew it! I knew the idiot would figure it out eventually. Why couldn't everybody see things they way I could? The world would be a better place._

I didn't think tonight would fix everything, but I was sure that seeing each other again would at least start the ball rolling. So when we strolled into the club, looking to the entire world like we owned the place, I felt good about the plan.

_Hm, Bella hasn't had a breakdown in a few hours, that's progress._

I felt my phone buzz and flipped it open to read the message.

_Be there in just a moment and I'm horny. Can't wait to see you. Love J._

I grinned and pulled Rosalie off to the side and filled her in on Edward's pending arrival. She vehemently agreed that they needed to see each other if this was ever going to get resolved.

We both looked up to find Bella dancing with a very eager young man. Well actually, Bella was mostly standing there and he was, well, it's hard to describe what he was doing. He was definitely getting up close and personal and it wasn't hard to see Bella's disinterest. We watched as she tried to walk away and he just moved in front of her and continued his awkward groping.

"Alice, we need to go help her. I think he's going to start humping her leg soon."

Just as me and Rose were about to intervene we saw Edward grab the guy and roughly pull him from Bella. He stepped around the dejected leg humper – _Ew and yuck - _and took Bella's hands in his. Even from across the room I could see the sadness and concern in his eyes. I couldn't see Bella's face but her body language was stiff and she looked like she was preparing for a fight.

Rosalie and I watched as Bella pulled her hands from his, roughly.

_Uh oh._

She turned from him and ran. Before I could even blink she was gone. I looked up to find Edward staring at the ground. His fists were clenched and he was visibly shaken. He lifted his head and met my eyes. His gaze was filled with hurt and determination. He strolled over to Rosalie and me.

"Alice, I'm gonna get her back. I'm gonna get her back if it fucking kills me."

**A/N: The next chapter should cover the B/E exchange and maybe Eddie's conversation with Jasper. Things should start moving in the right direction soon. Leave a review and let me know what you think. :)**


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: I know I am a complete loser when it comes to updating regularly so I really do appreciate everyone who keeps reading. If you haven't heard the Jason Mraz song, If It Kills Me, you should give it a listen, it's great. It is also a major inspiration for this chapter and the whole story really.**

**I entered Bethaboo and TheEdwardEmmett's Make it Count Contest. My story is called From Peanuts to Proposal. Check it out and if you like it voting opens up at the end of the month.**

**I, of course, do not own these characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer. **

Chapter 4

**(EPOV)**

I felt her soft, warm hand slide down my spine. It stopped just above my waist and began to rub soothing circles across my lower back. Her other hand started at my jaw before running the length of my face and finding purchase in my hair. She gently rubbed my scalp and pulled at my messy bronze locks.

"Bella…" Her name fell off my tongue effortlessly as she brought her mouth to mine. At first, her kisses were slow and tender, warm and inviting. I knew I could happily spend the rest of my life in her beautiful mouth. She soon parted her lips allowing our tongues to find each other. Every ounce of my arousal could feel the electricity emanating from our passionate embrace, the magic being created in this moment. She pulled away only to place deliciously wet kisses behind my ear. I slid my hand under her shirt and up her side until I barely grazed the side of her breast with my fingertips. Her hot breath found my earlobe and she moaned my name in the most sinful of ways.

"Edward…"

I nuzzled my face into the crook of her neck and gently sucked along her perfect collarbone. Her smell and sweet taste filled my every pore…

All too suddenly a banging at the door brought me back to the sad reality of my bed, sans Bella. I had returned to the sanctity of my sheets after my encounter of the Emmett kind this morning. I must've fallen into the perfect depth of sleep to elicit such clear dreams, dreams of Bella and me. Unfortunately, my unsolicited and unfinished dream left me with a broken heart and hard dick.

"Well shit." I groaned to myself.

I headed towards my bathroom to shower and well, finish things up, when I heard the banging again. This time it was accompanied by a very irritated voice.

"Edward? It's Jasper! Get you pathetic ass out here! Alice won't let me come home until I've talked to you."

I can't be sure but I think he mumbled something about kicking my ass under his breath.

_God, I wish he would just beat the ever living shit out of me. _

I sighed in resignation, shower time with my hard on would have to be postponed.

I threw on a shirt and headed out of my room. The last time I left my fortress of solitude I was faced with Emmett-palooza 09' and I was fairly certain Jasper's reception wouldn't be much better. I took in the look on Jasper's face and noted both anger and concern.

_I wonder if he's spoken to Bella. Would it be wrong to ask about her? You should've just called her you jackass._

"What the fuck do you want Jasper?" I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. I hoped he would sense my agitation and back the hell off. _No such freakin' luck._

"Look jack-off I'm here because Alice sent me. She's your sister and she loves you but we're both sticking with Bella on this one. So I suggest you get your ass in gear. You are coming out with us tonight. Alice said so and I sure as hell am not going home a failure."

"Yeah Eddo, quit being such a whiny emo brat and get your shit together." _Oh, I guess Emmett's still here. He always was the eloquent one in the group._

"Guys, I'm fine, really. I am not going out tonight and I will call Bella. She's my best friend, of course I'm going to call her."

My hands were balled up into fists and my face was flushed in frustration. I was sure anyone with eyes could see how not fine I was.

"Best friend? Edward you just don't get it, do you? You can't call Bella until you get it."

"Jasper, what are you talking about? Of course I get it. I messed this whole thing up and I am just going to call my _Best Friend_, yes that's right best friend, and talk to her." I could hear the words coming out of my mouth and I could hear the bullshit laced in my words. It was easy to say I was going to call Bella but I knew I was too chicken. The looks on both Jasper and Emmett's faces let me know they weren't convinced either.

"Edward, there is so much wrong with what you just said I don't even know where to start. For the sanctity of _my_ relationship I sure as hell am gonna to try. Sit." So I sat. I was too tired to fight anymore. I knew I had to deal with this and if Jasper was going to help me sort everything out who was I to deny him.

"First, we all know you're not going to call Bella…"

"Fucking pussy." Emmett muttered not so quietly under his breath.

"Shut up Emmett."

"Thanks Jasper."

"You shut up too Edward." So I did, because Jasper is a master.

"Like I was saying, you're not going to call Bella because you're chicken shit. If you weren't you would've already called her. Secondly, it is too late to call your _best friend_. You two crossed the best friend line the minute you buried your…"

"Okay Jasper I get it."

"No dude, I don't think you do. If you got it, you would be on your knees begging Bella to forgive your sorry ass and professing your undying love. All that shit has its place."

"I don't love Bella, I mean I do love Bella, but I'm not in love with Bella."

"For Christ's sake, Eddie let it go."

"Shut up Emmett!" Me and Jasper berated in unison.

"Whatever. I'm right and you both know it."

"He is right Edward."

"See I told you, bitch."

I hung my head in my hands and began rubbing the stubble on my jaw. I rubbed and rubbed hoping to just make this all go away.

"Edward, could you really be so blind?" Could I? Was I in love with Bella? There were times when I thought so.

"Jasper, I just don't know."

"Okay, I am clearly not getting anywhere. I need reinforcements." Jasper pulled his cell out and placed a call. As soon as the receiver of the call answered I could make out Alice's soprano voice. Jasper got up and walked away, just out of ear shot. I could see him hang his head, it almost looked like shame spreading across his face. He shook it a few times before his chest rose and fell in what seemed to be a defeated sigh. He walked back over to the table, this time holding an mp3 player.

"Jasper, what's that?"

"Look, this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you. Alice wants me to play some songs for you and shove some photo albums in your face. Apparently Alice left the photos in my trunk and created an "Edward needs to figure out he loves Bella" playlist. "

He walked over to my stereo and plugged the player in before running to his car for what I assumed were the photo albums. He came back carrying three very large scrapbooks. Each one had a picture of Bella and I on the front.

"Ugh, is Alice really still scrapbooking?"

"Don't even get me started. I know more about paper types and special scissors than any grown man should have to."

He dragged me to the couch, dropped the books in my lap, and walked back over to the stereo.

"Alice's instructions are very clear. I am to sit here and listen to shit music with you while you go through the photos. I am not to leave or let you leave until you admit you're in love with her and agree to come out tonight."

"Jasper, let's just not and say we did."

"Bullshit dude. Alice will know and _you_ know that."

"Okay fine, play the damn music."

Jasper hit play and my eardrums instantly began to bleed when the whiny voice of Secondhand Serenade filled the room. I put my hands over my ears and stomped on the ground in protest.

"No, no Jasper, no fucking way I am listening to this." Jasper's phone rang.

"That was Alice, she says you will listen and you will pay attention to the damn lyrics. I told you she'd know." I sighed in defeat and tried to listen to what whiny boy was singing. I got up and walked over to the ipod to see the name of the song, A Twist in My Story. That seemed harmless enough. I returned to my seat on the sofa and started going through the scrapbooks.

Every page was filled with photos of Bella and me. We were always laughing and smiling. I found an entire section devoted to "Nap Time" as Alice labeled it. Each picture was of me and Bella sleeping together. One was on a school bus on the way to a field trip. Her head leaning on my shoulder, eyes closed, sound asleep. I remembered that bus ride. I wasn't sleeping but I didn't want anyone or anything to disrupt Bella so I sat there with my eyes closed, head resting on top of hers.

**********

"_Bella if you're so tired why don't you just take a nap?" I patted my shoulder, indicating that she should rest her head on it._

_She blushed and I knew her refusal had little to nothing to do with me and my shoulder._

"_What is it?"_

"_Edward, we're on a frickin' school bus and you know I talk in my sleep. What if I say something embarrassing and the whole bus hears me."_

"_Don't worry, I'll protect you. Just close your eyes and get some sleep. Between your job and homework you've been running yourself ragged." She nodded and positioned herself until she was leaning up against my shoulder. I kissed the top of head and ran my hand up and down her back until she drifted to sleep. _

_************_

The next picture was taken years later. We were lying on a couch together. Both of our faces pink from a day spent in the sun. I was lying on my side and her back was pressed up against my chest, my arm draped across her waist. Anyone outside of Bella and myself would have assumed the people in the photo were a couple.

************

"_Bella watch out! Your string…" I ran to her at top speed and just barely made it in time to catch her in my arms as her shoe caught around the kite string._

"_Edward, I know I said I should not be allowed near a kite. How long have we been friends? You really should have known better."_

"_I should've, but in my defense there are 8 year olds all over the planet who are right now perfecting the art of kite flying." I flashed her my crooked smile, hoping to lessen the anger building in her eyes. Luckily for me, I did know Bella and before too long we were both in hysterics_

_**************_

I looked up and saw Jasper watching me closely, slightly tensed. He looked like he was ready to pounce if I tried to make a run for it. I brought my attention back to the music.

_I'm longing, for words to describe how I'm feeling  
I'm feeling inspired  
My world just flip turned upside down, and turned around  
Say what's that sound  
It's my heart beat, it's getting much louder  
My heart beat, is stronger than ever  
I'm feeling so alive, I'm feeling so alive_

The whispers turn to shouting  
The shouting turns to tears  
Your tears turn into laughter  
And it takes away our fears

So you see, this world doesn't matter to me  
I'll give up all I have just to breathe  
The same air as you till the day that I die  
I can't take my eyes off of you

I'm finally waking up, a twist in my story  
It's time I open up, and let your love right through me  
I'm finally waking up, a twist in my story  
It's time I open up, and let your love right through me

Something about the words had my chest burning and tightening. I continued on with the pictures. I noticed when the song changed to Jason Mraz. I recognized it instantly as If It Kills Me. Deep down, I knew I was being brainwashed by effeminate men and pictures of Bella. I should have been furious at Jasper and Alice for putting me in this position, but truthfully I craved this. Part of me knew I needed to figure my shit out and to my surprise; this felt like it was working.

The next section of photos was called "Quiet Moments."

I felt my eyes well as I looked through the images. Bella and I were in each photo but we were not together. In every moment captured on film one of us was doing something, talking, watching tv, reading, and the other one of us was observing. One photo displayed Bella sprawled out on the couch reading and I was sitting at the table watching her, a hint of a smile playing at my lips. Another was of us at a party. I was talking to someone and I could see Bella standing not far from me with another partygoer, her eyes were firmly planted on my face. I let the lyrics of the song fill me as my body tingled with epiphany.

"Holy shit Jasper. Holy fucking shit." I whispered, not trusting my voice. I could feel every nerve ending in my body stand on end. This was the moment, the clarity, the "it" I was so desperately seeking.

"I am hard core, seriously, wretchedly, unbelievably in love with Bella."

"No shit Sherlock." Leave it to Emmett to sum things up so nicely.

"How long has everyone else known?"

"Try since high school."

"Wow, I just, wow. Does she love me too?" It seemed like I should know if my best friend was in love with someone, but clearly I've had my head up my ass for years.

"We all think so, but she's hurt and confused. It's going to take a lot to remind her. You're going to have to fight for her. You're going to have to really want it."

"Jasper, I don't think I've ever wanted anything so badly in my entire life. I just can't believe I wasted so many years without this feeling. I really have been a blind douche haven't I?"

"Again, I say congrats to Captain Obvious!"

"Alright Emmett, I get it. So what's going on tonight?"

"Rose and Alice are taking Bella out. Alice wants us there."

"Done."

"Look Edward, I know you're excited and all in love and stuff, but don't expect to go home with the girl tonight. "

"I know." I really did know. I knew Bella would be wounded and I knew she was fragile to being with. She trusted me and I broke that trust. I would do everything in my power to earn it back. Jasper's phone rang again. This time I listened.

"Yeah Alice, it's done. He loves her." I could hear her squeal from across the room.

******************

I paced around my apartment dressed and ready to go. I was waiting for Jasper to get here and I just couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed my cell out of my pocket and called him, again. He answered on the first ring.

"Edward, stop calling. I'm almost there. You are going to have to calm down, or I'm leaving your uptight ass at home."

Emmett came out of his room, dressed and looking painfully calm.

"Edward, I know I give you a hard time but you can do this. You love each other, it'll work out." He came over to me and crushed me into a painful bear hug. I winced a little but didn't pull away, I really needed his support right now.

I heard Jasper honk and ran out the door and to the car. I looked up to find that Emmett had only just stepped out of the apartment and was locking the door.

"I guess I am a little anxious."

"Don't worry about it, get in." I instantly felt a little calmer the moment I entered Jasper's presence.

We rode to the club in companionable silence. I tried to speak a few times but I was afraid I might just throw up if I opened my mouth. We finally arrived at the club and I could feel all the blood run from my face. I nearly passed out, threw up, and shit in my pants all at the same time. I couldn't believe I was about to declare myself to my Bella. To a probably pissed off Bella.

"Hey Eduardo, you feeling okay?" All I could do was nod a no. I ran my hand through my hair in a lame attempt to calm myself. I knew I was only managing to dishevel my appearance, calm was something I would not find. I reached for the door handle while Jasper and Emmett watched me carefully. I got out of the car and let the night air settle my clammy flesh.

"Okay, let's do this."

We entered the club and I scoured the area looking for her. Once I finally saw her, my jaw dropped, my heart thumped, and my dick twitched. Everything else fell away. Everyone in the club was gone. There was only me and Bella, and a creepy dude trying to hump her leg. I watched for a few moments taking her in. She looked stunning and I couldn't wait to touch her. I would of course, first have to murder leg-humper.

I marched over to them and removed Fido from Bella's body. Her gaze met mine and the expression on her face nearly brought me to my knees. Her eyes were wide and full of emotion. I saw sadness, hurt, and fierce anger. I could see her entire body tense up, preparing for a confrontation.

I reached out to her and grabbed her hands in mine. A look of shock and sadness flashed across her beautiful features. Now that I was painfully aware of exactly how I felt about Bella she looked more breathtaking than I ever could have imagined. My hands ached to reach out and pull her into the best God damn kiss of her life.

She started shaking her head slowly back and forth and began to move away. Hell no. I held on tighter.

"No, I can't do this."

"Bella please just listen to me."

"I can't. You… you…"

"Bella I know I don't deserve your time but please. I.."

"No, don't say it. Don't you fucking say it. I can't do this."

She ripped her hands from mine and ran from me. I couldn't follow her immediately, I needed a minute to regroup and she would have only pulled away. I knew though, that I would go after her tonight, I couldn't let her walk away from me again. Tonight I was going to find her and start fixing this colossal fucked up mess. I raised my head and found Alice's eyes. I stalked over to her on my way out the door.

"Alice, I'm gonna get her back. I'm gonna get her back if it fucking kills me."

I left the club and flagged down a taxi. Bella needed me and I needed to be there for her. I gave the driver her address and was thankful to him as he sped towards it.

The taxi pulled up, I threw him some bills and leaped out of the car, nearly taking the door off in the process. I approached the steps and my heart broke for the millionth time in two days. Bella was curled up in front of the door, sobbing and shaking.

"I forgot my key." A tiny voice escaped her lips. Her breathing was harsh and I could hear how violently she was trembling. I took in her broken appearance and decided that Bella needed me to be her best friend right now, not the man who loved her. I bent down and scooped her up into my arms. She let her head rest against my chest and I felt like I was home. Her tears stained my shirt and I was ecstatic to be the owner of the shirt she was ruining.

Thankfully the cabbie stuck around to watch the drama and I gently placed Bella in the cab before climbing in next to her. I directed the driver to my apartment pulling Bella into my side. She continued to sob the entire ride to my place. I ran my hand through her hair, attempting to soothe her pain.

We got to my place and I carried Bella inside. Her closed eyes and deep breathing let me know that she had fallen asleep in my arms. I brought her into my room, pulled the blanket back and gently set her down on the bed. Her eyes were red and puffy, her lips swollen, and her hair was matted to the side of her face, she was beautiful. I brought my hand to her cheek and carefully pushed a rogue strand of hair behind her ear. The selfish side of me wanted to crawl into bed with her but I couldn't, not yet. I messed this up once already and I was determined to do it right this time.

I pulled the blanket up to her chin, placed a kiss on her forehead, and prepared myself for a long sleepless night on my couch.

**A/N: I don't have a beta, as you can probably tell from what must be a multitude of errors, if there are any betas out there just itching for a story please let me know :)****. Don't forget to leave a review. Thanks! **


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: Allow me to take a moment for a shameless plug. I entered Bethaboo and TheEdwardEmmett's Make it Count Contest. My story is called From Peanuts to Proposal. Voting is happening right now!**

**Special thanks to Erica. Her knowledge of comma placement leaves me speechless.**

**I, of course, do not own these characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer. **

Chapter 5

**(EPOV)**

_Yawn. Stretch. This couch is really uncomfortable. But I am surprisingly warm…_

I looked down to find a fluffy blanket covering my cramped body. _Bella._

I shot up and headed towards my bedroom.

_Let's see, I can just crack the door open… ah, good. She's still there, asleep in my bed, without me. Not for long. _

Today would be the day I put my plan into action. After my epiphany I immediately began devising my scheme to get Bella. Of course, my friends and family felt I could not be entrusted with such a monumental task. Everyone insisted on giving their opinion. The first round of unsolicited sharing was centered on the plan's name. _Fucking nosy, meddling, pains in my ass._

Operation Get Bella to Realize She Loves Edward and Live Happily Ever After (Alice).

Operation Edward Needs to Stop Being a Jackass for Two Minutes (Rosalie).

Operation It Doesn't Matter What the Damn Plan Is Called (Jasper).

Best Operation for Obtaining Bella or, BOOB (Emmett).

I decided to stick with simple.

Operation Beg, Entreat, Lavish, Love, and Acquire or, Operation BELLA. I thought it was terribly clever.

I padded towards the kitchen, planning to make her breakfast. Breakfast seemed like a good place to start. Everyone likes food. I opened the fridge door and just stood there. The fridge was empty. _Well, shit. _It seemed like nothing was going right, and flashes of the previous night only served to prove my theory.

Last night had been arguably the worst night of my life. The sight of her curled up in a ball in front of Alice's house was… I didn't have words to describe it. Knowing that I was responsible for it nearly killed me on the spot. I was supposed to be the one that protected her. I was supposed to be the one that kept her safe.

I failed. _You're about to fail at breakfast too, douchebag. _

At the club, I came on too fast and too strong. _I know Bella better than that. _

For every inch of her strength, it seemed she had a mile of fragile. Bella has never seen herself clearly. I watched guys fall over themselves to get her, and she was always blissfully unaware. I have spent countless hours trying to build her up only to tear her down in a matter of minutes. Bella did not need a pushy, impatient Edward. She needed the best version of me. She needed the version of me that only she could inspire. No one but Bella made me want to be a better man.

_I sound like God damn Jerry Maguire. It doesn't matter. After all she's done for me, I can't let her down now._

She was going to need me to be patient and persistent. She was going to need me to wait for her to get her shit together. My job was simply to let her know I loved her, and that I would wait for her forever.

_I can totally fucking do that. _

Confident in my plan and my feelings, I decided that breakfast would not get the better of me. I remembered the frozen waffles in the freezer and opened the freezer door. I was standing half naked in front of an open fridge and freezer when I heard it, the soft sound of Bella restraining a giggle. The smile that spread across my face reached not only my eyes but shot all the way down to my cold, bare toes. The sound warmed me from the inside out. I stood facing the fridge and waited for her to speak first. Thank Jeebus I didn't have to wait long.

"Whatcha doin'?" Her voice was quiet and uncertain. I couldn't face her yet. Not until I could gain some kind of control over the ridiculous grin on my face. _Not to mention the tent being hitched in my pants._

"Hunting."

"For?"

"Frozen Waffles."

"Ooooh. Do you have any magic shell to put on said frozen waffles?" That was the moment I knew our friendship would survive this. She was playing with me and bringing up shenanigans from our past.

"What kind of host would I be if I didn't have magic shell to pour on top of our frozen waffles?"

"Edward, look at me." Her tone changed. She was ready to talk about something. Being able to deny her nothing, I spun around and pushed the fridge doors closed in the process. Her head was tilted down, lip firmly planted between her teeth, and her perfect hands were scrunched up into tight little balls. I wanted to throw her over my shoulder and apologize to every inch of her body for the rest of my life.

"Bella…"

"No, let me go first." She took in a shaky breath before revealing my fate. Her playfulness suggested I had a chance, but now she looked… scared shitless. She was trembling, and I was growing increasingly concerned over the safety of her bottom lip. To try and calm her frayed nerves, I took a chance. I walked towards her until I was inches from her shaking form. I moved very slowly, like a lion hunting its prey. I didn't want to startle her into running, but I couldn't sit back and watch her suffer. I brought my finger tip up under her chin and lifted her face until our eyes met. They were wide and full of unsaid questions. With an agonizingly slow pace, I slid my fingertips up to her lips. I ran my thumb over her pink bottom lip and freed it from its toothy prison. She smiled at me and seemed to calm under my touch. Eyes firmly locked on me, she continued where she left off.

"Edward. As much as it kind of kills me to say this about anything or to anyone… I need you. I can't go through my daily life without knowing you're in it. I don't know what that means for us, and it doesn't mean I forgive you yet but, I just, I mean, I don't know. You hurt me, not just hurt, you broke parts of me that only you had access to. I trusted you with all of me that night, and you treated me like I meant nothing to you. I am pretty sure, no, I KNOW, you didn't mean it, not really. I can't trust you with all of me again. Not yet." She reached up and wiped a tear that had escaped my weary eyes. _I am such a pussy._

"Allergies." I pressed my forehead to hers so she could see the truth.

"Bella, sorry doesn't even begin to cover how I feel. What I said was inexcusable and wrong, and I will never forgive myself for hurting you that way. I let my own stupid insecurities show themselves in the worst possible way. Bella, I know I need to earn back your trust and your friendship. I need you to know though, that I am in this for way more than that. I need you to know I am in this with every cell in my body. I need you to know I plan on spending every moment of everyday convincing you that I am better than I probably am. More than anything, I need you to know I'm not going anywhere. I know how I feel now, and I want to shout it from the roof tops, but I'm going to wait. I'm going to wait until I somehow convince you to trust me again and hopefully realize you feel the same way."

"Edward…"

"No, Bella. It's okay. I know you're not ready. I know you better than anyone, even if I had a momentary lack of humanity. I promise though, I am going to stalk you and basically annoy the shit out of you until you just can't resist me."

"I have to admit Edward, I'm kind of looking forward to it."

"Me too." At that we both smiled at each other and stared into each other's weary eyes for an immeasurable moment. Once again she broke the silence first.

"So how about those magic shell waffles?"

"Coming right up, you want them frozen right?"

"Is there any other way?"

**********

We neared the end of our breakfast. Our conversation was light but comfortable; for that I was grateful. She wasn't mine yet, but my plan was solid. Bella and I have known each other for a long time, and I intended on exploiting my knowledge of her. The sound of her phone ringing brought me out of my scheming.

"Ugh, that's probably Alice. I'm sort of proud of her for waiting this long to call." Bella didn't get to her phone before missing the call. Not a second later my cell phone was screaming "Popular" from Wicked.

"I guess you don't have to worry about calling her back. Here, just answer mine. I'm pretty damn sure she doesn't want to talk to me." I flipped the phone open and handed it to her. I could hear my sister running her mouth a million miles a minute. I would have to remember to thank her for being there for Bella when I couldn't be. Bella wrapped up her short conversation and handed me back my phone.

"That was fast."

"She's on her way to come get me and take me to breakfast. I didn't have the heart to tell her I had already eaten. Listen, Alice is one of my best friends, but she's your sister. If you're not comfortable with me talking to her about this…"

"Bella, I will be in Alice's debt forever. She took care of you when I fucked up. I'm glad you have each other." She smiled at me with her entire face before retreating into my room to get washed up.

She came back out a few minutes later looking fresh and wearing one of my t-shirts. _Hello there hard on, it's been too long, and by too long I mean like 20 fucking minutes. _

Before I could properly humiliate myself, Bella thanked me for breakfast and headed towards the door. As she made her way out into the hallway, she stopped and turned back to me. She stood on her toes and brought her mouth to my ear.

"Edward, I really hope your plan works. Don't let me down again." Before I could respond, she was gone.

**A/N: I know the chapter is short but it was a big hurdle to cross. I for one would have picked Operation BOOB. Leave me a review because I am watching the last ever episode of ER and crying like a fool. **


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N: I took us back a little to get some Bella perspective on the conversation. **

**Always to Erica who is wonderful. **

* * *

Chapter 6

**(BPOV)**

_BAM!_

I awoke from a dream startled, feeling like I had fallen from a 10 story building and hit the ground. Apparently the dream wasn't all in my subconscious; I was on the floor instead of the bed. It's not abnormal for me to be a restless sleeper when I'm stressed. I've been known to both sleep walk and talk when I have a lot on my mind. Both Alice and Jaspercould fill a tome with my sleep walking stories.

Quickly rising from my position on the floor, I took in my surroundings, _his_ room. Despite my effort to fight it, I couldn't keep my most recent memories of this room at bay. The last night I spent here was a kaleidoscope of unbearable highs and heartbreaking lows. I closed my eyes and stood in his room for seconds, minutes, forever and never long enough. I wanted to feel the comfort his place usually brought me. I wrapped his blanket tighter around myself and smiled when his smell brought me peace. It was going to be okay.

Last night when he found me at the club, I knew he wanted to say more. It was written all over his face. A part of me wanted to hear it, wanted to feel his words as they fell from his lips. Most of me couldn't handle it. The pressure, the anxiety, the tumultuous events that led us there, it was all too much. I was angry at him for thinking he could swoop in and charm me back into his graces. I was insulted that he thought he could throw _that_ sentiment at me. I was hurt that my best friend waited until we were in public to try and reconcile with me. More than anything, I was terrified.

I sat on his bed and tried to pinpoint what it was that had me so fucking afraid. I knew I had pent up emotions regarding the potential dissolution of our friendship. If I'm being honest, the moment I saw his face at that damn club every part of me knew we would survive. So what was I so afraid of?

_Now I'm afraid of really thinking about what I was afraid of. Fucking circle of doom._

I needed to get past this if Edward and I…

An involuntary shiver shot from my head to my toes at the thought of his name. That was the first time I had even allowed myself to think it. It felt good.

"Edward." I whispered it to myself and was surprised by the smile it brought to my lips.

_I really need to figure my shit out._

I let my back fall to the bed and brought my eyes to his ceiling. Edward's ceiling. I let my eyes drift out of focus and like a fucking magic eye picture the whole story came into view.

I wanted him to love me. I wanted him to teach me how to love him in return. I was scared he was only feeling _whatever_ he was feeling because of what happened. It is so fucking easy to convince yourself of feelings for someone you may never see again. It is so fucking easy to _think_ you love someone after something really shitty happens. But is it real? Is it real or just a reaction?

When potassium is mixed with water, the reaction is fierce. Pink flames, sparks, and pops, it's awe inspiring. It's also violent and quick. Moments after the fireworks begin, they're over. There is no fanfare, no ongoing embers, only a cloud of smoke to remind you of what once was. I was afraid his feelings for me were nothing more than an instantaneous reaction that would fizzle out all too soon. He would make me love him and then he would figure out that we were better as friends. He would figure out that he never really loved me.

But fuck, the flame would be beautiful.

Is it worth it? Is the promise of guaranteed intensity worth the risk if it's destined to be fleeting?

I knew he would be sleeping on the couch, and I needed to see him. I needed to see his face. I kept his blanket wrapped around me and tip toed towards the door. I slowly turned the knob and peeked my head around the frame. He was lying on his couch looking miserable. I tried not to giggle. I really did.

His head was at one end and his feet were sort of dangling off the other end. His mouth was hanging open and a tiny line of drool was snaking its way down his chin. He looked uncomfortable, restless, and cold. I slowly padded my way over to the sleeping schmuck. I unwrapped the blanket from my shoulders and gently placed it on his sleeping form. I tucked it in around his body the way he liked it and watched as he snuggled into it.

"Snug as a bug in a rug," I whispered to him.

I was certain he would still be in pain come morning, but at least he would be warm. His face relaxed some, and he looked more peaceful than he had when I first approached him.

He rescued me at Alice's place last night. He carried me to safety. He let me have his bed. He was on that couch for me.

Yeah, he's worth it.

I returned to Edward's bed and sunk into his soft sheets. I took a deep breath and let his smell fill my world. I wasn't ready to jump off the bridge with him yet, I wasn't ready to trust him again, and I sure as hell wasn't about to forgive him like nothing had happened but…

There was an awful lot being held in that tiny word. But…

The piece of my heart that belongs to him sighed in relief, it would be whole again.

************

I woke up feeling almost refreshed. I stretched and rolled off the bed. I wasn't sure what I was going to say to Edward, but I was ready to say something. I walked out of the bedroom and as I approached the kitchen, I saw it.

Edward. He was standing in front of the refrigerator with both the fridge and freezer doors open. He was half naked and glaring into the cavernous space. He looked like he was waiting for those nasty looking beasts from Ghostbusters to appear and share with him the secrets of the universe. I tried not to giggle, again, but I was unsuccessful. A squeak of a laugh squeezed through my pressed lips. He didn't turn around, but his posture changed, and he was obviously very aware of me.

_God damn I'd like to run my nails down that back. Oops, that was exactly the visceral reaction I was hoping to avoid._

He didn't say anything, but I knew he wouldn't. I knew he would wait for me; this was going to be up to me.

We engaged in some light-hearted banter, but he still wouldn't turn around. I needed to see his face again if I was going to make it through this.

"Edward, look at me," I all but ordered him to turn around. My voice carried my intentions, and he turned to face me. As he spun, my anxiety encroached upon my resolve, and all of my nervous ticks kicked in.

I tilted my head down, I bit my lip, and I tightened my fists. I needed my quirks today, they grounded me.

He tried to speak, but he had said enough last night. This morning was still mine.

"No, let me go first." I almost lost it. I was shaking, and I swear I almost peed my pants. I could feel him getting closer to me, and I fought to keep my feet planted to the ground. He lifted my chin, and our eyes locked as he ran his thumb over my chewed lip. His touch was calming, and I reveled in it. It gave me the courage I needed to continue.

So I let it all go, I told him everything. I needed him to know that I still needed him. I wanted him to know that he was not instantaneously forgiven. I knew he could hear the pain in my voice when I told him how his words wounded me. I hoped when I confessed to him that I couldn't trust him with all of me _yet_, he heard the yet as his cue to fight for me. When a tear slipped from his green eye, I was sure he got it. He got me.

"Allergies." He pressed his forehead to mine, he was full of shit and he wanted to make sure I knew it.

"Bella, sorry doesn't even begin to cover how I feel. What I said was inexcusable and wrong, and I will never forgive myself for hurting you that way. I let my own stupid insecurities show themselves in the worst possible way. Bella, I know I need to earn back your trust and your friendship. I need you to know though, that I am in this for way more than that. I need you to know I am in this with every cell in my body. I need you to know I plan on spending every moment of everyday convincing you that I am better than I probably am. More than anything, I need you to know I'm not going anywhere. I know how I feel now, and I want to shout it from the roof tops, but I'm going to wait. I'm going to wait until I somehow convince you to trust me again and hopefully realize you feel the same way."

I so wanted to believe him. I so wanted to believe that this was not a mere reaction. I wanted him to convince me. My instinct was to lunge towards his body and ravish him with my tongue, but we weren't ready for that. I couldn't let myself get sucked into the flame too quickly.

"No, Bella. It's okay. I know you're not ready. I know you better than anyone, even if I had a momentary lack of humanity. I promise though, I am going to stalk you and basically annoy the shit out of you until you just can't resist me."

The thought of him pursuing me left me feeling anxious and excited, hopeful and worried. He certainly seemed convinced of his feelings, but I was not ready to commit mine.

We ate breakfast over comfortable conversation and when Alice called me, it seemed like a perfect way to end our morning without awkwardness.

I was a little concerned he would be unsettled by the idea of me sharing our talk with Alice. I shouldn't have been surprised when he held nothing but gratitude for his sister for being there for me when he couldn't.

I retreated to his room to get washed up. I noticed a pile of clean t-shirts sitting on his dresser.

_Surely he won't mind if one goes missing._

Feeling better than I had in days, I strolled back out to Edward. I knew Alice would be here shortly, but I couldn't leave without giving one last bit of encouragement. I brought my lips close to his ear and whispered.

"Edward, I really hope your plan works. Don't let me down again."

I didn't want us to ignite only to evanesce, but I was confident that even if we did, I would be glad I got to watch it burn.

I made my way outside just as Alice pulled up to the curb. Rosalie was with her, and I was looking forward to downing a few mimosas. There are few things better than a breakfast buzz. We quickly made our way to a skanky little diner with the best food in the world.

_Screw you breakfast! I'm ordering mozzarella cheese fries with brown gravy and a 20 liter bottle of mimosa._

We placed our orders, and Alice immediately launched into her interrogation.

"Bella, I love you, but I'm pissed. What the hell happened last night? You were at the club then you ran off. When I got home, there was no you, no call, no note, nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Bupkis. You know…"

Alice finally took a breath, and Rosalie jumped in.

"Alice, if you want to hear what happened, you're gonna have to stop running that little mouth of yours. Bella, what the fuck?"

_Well that was a little harsher than I was prepared for._

"I'm sorry I didn't call last night. Things kind of spiraled out of control for a bit. After Edward showed up at the club, I ran and took a cab back to your place. It turns out I didn't have my key. Edward showed up a few minutes later and found me. It was so fucking embarrassing! I was hysterical and curled up into a ball on your front porch. Everything had been such a mess, and being locked out just sent me over the edge. Any ounce of rational behavior I had left flew from my body in a fit of ugly cry. "

"Oh Bella," Alice interrupted. Rosalie was quick to smack her in the arm, clearly interruptions were not allowed.

"Tell me about it. So he got me into his cab, and we went back to his place. He carried me inside, and I must have worn myself out because the next I knew, I was waking up in Edward's room."

"Do not tell me that dick munch took advantage of you."

"Oh Rose, the web of words you weave is truly stunning."

"Fuck you, Alice. What the hell happened next?"

"So this morning, we talked." Alice and Rosalie looked at each other before returning their faces to me. Alice spoke first.

"You talked and…" She moved her hand in a manner that implied impatience.

"That's it. We talked. Things aren't different, but they aren't really the same. It's hard to explain. I think things are looking up."

Before I could continue, my phone started ringing, it was my boss.

"Hey John! Did you get my _Sex in the West_ article?... Great! I'm glad you liked it. Where are we taking the next issue?... That sounds great! Did you already make the travel plans?... Perfect! I've got some ideas. I'll drop by the office later… Bye John."

I hung up the phone and looked at my girls.

"Ladies, I'm going back to Miami!" Being the immature bitches they are, they both sang in response.

"Welcome to Miami, bienvenida a Miami!" I rolled my eyes and laughed. It felt good.

The rest of the day went by smoothly. Alice, Rose, and I talked more about Edward and my feelings… yada, yada, yada. I dropped by the magazine to get the details on the upcoming Miami issue. I was really looking forward to my impending trip. I lived in Miami for a while a few years ago. I was on assignment for the travel channel and have always wanted a reason to go back. My mind raced as I compiled a list of all the places I wanted to go. My flight was booked, hotel reserved, I would be on my way to the beach in a week.

***********

I awoke the next morning to the sensation of something tickling my face. I swatted it away only to get my arm caught in a string. As I opened my eyes, I swatted again. I took in my surroundings and nearly shit twice and died.

"ALLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCE!" She came bounding into my room a half second later. The evil midget had been waiting.

"Why the fuck is my room filled with balloons?" Alice lifted her finger in the air and did that creepy Brittany Murphy voice.

"I'll never tell."

"Bitch."

* * *

**A/N: I lived in Miami for a while so I can't wait to write it. If there is anyone out there who has a favorite Miami spot let me know, when you leave a review. **


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hello hello. Everyone enjoy the trailer? Thanks to LoloD for her excellent Miami suggestions. We will be livin it up on the beach soon! I also have to apologize for being so completely sucky at responding to reviews. I am transitioning into a new job as an assistant principal and well, it's kicking my ass.**

**Thanks for sticking with me and my little story. Every alert and favorite and review I get make me smile like stupid. **

**As always, to Erica and all your beta fabulousness, you are puppies and rainbows and thin mints from the freezer all rolled up together.**

**BTW – This chapter, totally fluffy, like Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man fluffy. **

Chapter 7

**(EPOV) **

Balloons.

God damned. Stupid. Mother Effing. How do I get myself into this kind of shit, balloons.

I stood in the middle of my living room and contemplated how in the hell I was going to get thirty-seven balloons over to Bella's. I swear this seemed like a good idea when I thought of it. It started innocently enough, a few random thoughts about Bella. After she left this morning, she was all I could think about. Her smile, her laugh, the way she liked her pizza, this was deceptively difficult since her pizza preferences changed with the source of the pizza. I started writing them down on post it notes and before too long, phase one was born: convince Bella that no one knew her like I did.

I smiled to myself as I was reminded why I was knee deep in balloons.

_I'm in love with Bella Swan. _

Just thinking the words pushed my lips out into a smile so large my cheeks ached. I walked into my living room and grabbed as many of the strings as I thought reasonable and headed out the door and to my car.

_It's windy. Of course it's windy. _

I ran to my car as quickly as I could with twenty balloons blowing all over the damn place. I finally got to my car and popped the trunk. Every time I got another balloon in the trunk some other balloon would pop out.

_Fuck you balloons. Fuck you straight to hell._

I heard a laugh from nearby and turned to find Alice watching. I turned to see her, temporarily forgetting the precarious positioning of the balloons. To my complete devastation all the balloons I had so painstakingly shoved into the trunk, came flying out. Thankfully, I had kept the ribbons tightly in my hand and the balloons couldn't escape to the heavens above.

I brought my fingers to the bridge of my nose and whined, "Alice, are you just going to stand there or are you going to help?"

"I brought Jasper's SUV. Bring the balloons over here."

I closed my trunk and shuffled over to my sister. She took the balloons from me and easily slid them into Jasper's behemoth vehicle.

"Thanks, Alice." I hugged her tightly, and I'm sure she knew I was thanking her for so much more than the balloon transportation.

We both made it back to my place and gathered the rest of the ribbons. The remaining seventeen balloons were secured, and I walked around to the driver's side to open Alice's door for her. Watching little Alice hoist herself up was comical. Seeing her little body settled into the big seat was hysterical.

"Alice, are you sure your feet touch the pedals?"

"Edward, I swear to God I will pop the trunk, and all of your precious balloons will fly away, free, into the wind."

I grinned but held my tongue as I made my way into the passenger seat.

"So Edward, tell me about the balloons." Normally I would have held out just to drive her nuts, but I was so excited about my surprise for Bella I couldn't contain it.

"Well sister dear, this is phase one of the plan: convince Bella that no one knows her like I do. I started writing down all the things about Bella I know, all the things I love." I smiled at her, knowing she would be thrilled by my admission. Her returning grin did not disappoint.

"Before I knew it, I was at the party store sticking a note in each balloon and having it filled with helium. My plan is to leave them in her room and let her wake up to a room full of balloons. If you don't mind, maybe I could stay at your place tonight? I'd love to be there in the morning."

"Oh Edward. Have you talked to Bella in the morning? She's usually pretty grumpy. You might want to hide until she's had a chance to read through your little love notes."

We made it back to her place, and it was pretty late. Alice ran inside to be sure that Bella was asleep. She slept like the dead, so I was certain I could pull this off. We grabbed the balloons from the trunk and as quietly as possible got them to Bella's door. I pulled it open a crack and saw her sleeping form. Like always, she was beautiful. For a moment I wondered if I could fuck the balloons and just go lay with her.

Alice popped me on the head and brought me back to reality.

We brought the balloons into her room and spread them around. I was sure to group a bunch right above her. We snuck back out, and Alice set me up in her other guestroom.

I lay in bed wearing little more than my smile, staring at the ceiling. Bella was going to love this, I was certain. Soon I could sail right into phase two of plan BELLA: Convince her no one would ever love her like I do.

A part of me wanted her to immediately confess her love and start our Happily Ever After. The other part was excited for the chase and ecstatic about the capture.

**********

I awoke to a screaming Bella.

"ALLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCE!"

Here we go.

(BPOV)

I pushed the strings away from my face only to get one stuck in my mouth. In my haste to remove it, my arm got caught in a tangled web of ribbon and my violent thrashing threw me off my bed and onto the floor. _Well isn't this just great._

Alice's laughter filled the room as she crumbled to the floor in hysterics. She crawled over to me and attempted to put a sentence together.

"Bella… Oh… my… God… funniest… thing… ever! Jazz!" Tears were streaming down her cheeks, and she kept slapping my leg. I dropped my burning face into my hands and before too long, I was also overcome with laughter. Jasper made it into the room and found us laughing so hard that we were silent. The only evidence of our extreme jubilance was the shake in our shoulders and the endless stream of tears. I caught him smiling at us before shaking his head and backing out of the room.

We eventually managed to tame our mood, and I snapped to grab Alice's attention.

"Okay, that was possibly the funniest thing ever…" A few giggles escaped before I could complete my thought. "But seriously, why does my room look like the beginnings of a balloon arch?"

"Ooooh, I love balloon arches!"

"Focus Al."

"Right, sorry. Well why don't you pull one of those helium filled balls, I said balls, of wonder down here and find out for yourself."

Not being one to argue, I tugged on the purple ribbon until I was face to face with the translucent balloon. I pulled the plastic nubbin off the end and took a long pull. I squeaked to Alice, "Alice, have I told you recently how sexy you are?" I held back my giggles for about 2 seconds before passing the balloon to Alice. She mimicked my motions and while she drew her breath of helium, I noticed a piece of paper folded up in the balloon.

"Oh Bella, Homey don't play that." Her normal soprano voice was tinny and would make any chipmunk jealous. I tore the balloon from her hands eager to pull the surprise from it. I felt like a kid digging through a cereal box for the temporary tattoo as I eagerly squeezed the air from the thin latex. I reached my fingers into the tiny hole and yanked the note out. I unfolded the paper, a post-it note to be exact, and immediately recognized the beautiful print.

_You like your coffee with just milk. You can drink it hot or cold. Dunkin Donuts is your favorite._

I grinned and pulled down the next balloon. I noticed Alice watching me closely. Feeling impatient, I pinched the next balloon between my fingernails until it popped. I unfolded the next note, and my smile grew impossibly larger.

_When you read, I can tell what's going on in the book by watching your face. I can tell if there is something happy or funny from your smile, or if there is something sad from your eyes. If there is something particularly interesting, you scrunch your eyebrows together._

"Alice, what is all this?"

"This, Bella dear, is phase one of my brother's plan to win you over. I believe this is the convince-Bella-no-one-knows-her-like-Edward phase."

My face flushed, and the number of balloons filling the room overwhelmed me.

"Alice, there must be at least thirty balloons in here. I can't believe he did all of this. Wait, phase one? How many phases are there?"

"Ha! You're kidding right? You don't really think I'll spill the beans do you? Why don't I go toast us some pop-tarts and we can sit here and pop some balloons. I'm sure I have a safety pin in my bathroom."

"What flavor pop-tarts?"

"Strawberry frosted and S'more. Duh." With that she turned on her heel and determinedly headed towards the kitchen. I heard her squeal and could only assume Jasper had assaulted her in the hallway.

As much as I loved Alice and Jasper, I really needed to figure things out and get my own place. It was just last week I caught Jasper waving his winkie around the living room while he chased Alice around the couch and declared, "You cannot fight the power of my Schwartz! Victory will be mine!" Jasper's winkie is apparently Jewish, and I clearly needed a new living situation.

With as much traveling as I do for my job, I hated paying rent on a place I never saw. When Alice offered me her room, I swore to myself it would only be temporary, it would only be until I found a place I wanted to buy. It's been a year now and I am still occupying her guest room. I knew my upcoming trip to Miami would serve to further postpone my house hunting. That seemed to be the story of my life, one city after the other each one adding time to my own, personal purgatory. Don't get me wrong, I loved my job. Being a travel writer allowed me write and see places of the world I would never have otherwise visited, but. There was that nagging but. That part of me that was ready to own something, to settle into a place and make it my mine.

Before I could dive too deeply into my home skillet woes, Alice returned with pins and pop-tarts. We spent the next few hours popping balloons and pondering all things me.

Alice read the next note before sighing and blubbering, "Awwwe! Bella, this one is so sweet! You have to read it!" She passed me the note, and I rolled my eyes hoping to hide my proximity to spontaneous human combustion. Edward's notes were life altering and staggering in their greatness. This impressive display of helium and latex and paper and words immediately put every gift I had ever bought for everyone to shame, a complete and utter embarrassing level of shame. I felt like I should call everyone I'd ever known and apologize for my shitty gift, giving them Edward's name for all future gift procurements.

Each note shared a detail he noticed about me and not your average, _she's nice _or _she has brown hair._ These were things that only someone who really paid attention would know. These were things that people you were connected to knew.

I read Alice's note and immediately my eyes began to do the over blinking thing that happens when tears are being kept at bay.

_Bella, you like Gerbera Daisies. They are your favorite flower and are a perfect fit for you. They are unique, bright, stunning, colorful, and fragile. They are fiercely independent and are perfect alone but when paired with a complimenting color, the effect is dazzling. They are happy flowers; they are you. _

Edward was doing a damn good job convincing me of his feelings and solidifying my own. If I had any doubts before that my intentions towards him were leaning, well toppling, towards the romantic, they were gone now. My only goal at this point was to hold on until he had a chance to execute more of his plan. If this was the beginning, a girl could get lost in the possibilities of the ending.

Once all the balloons were popped and all the notes were read, I shooed Alice out of my room and prepared myself to call Edward. I wasn't sure what I was going to say yet, but after this, a phone call was the least I could do. Still seated on the floor, I grabbed my cell off the nightstand and hit speed dial 1.

_What the fuck? His God damned phone is in this house!_

The ringing continued both in my ear and from the living room until his phone was answered. I could clearly hear the rustling of clothing and the closing of a door before Edward panted into the phone, "Hello?"

I followed up with a question of my own, "Where are you?"

"I'm here."

I rolled my eyes and replied, "Where is here?"

"Not far from there." I could hear him smiling through the phone, and I really wanted to be annoyed. I really tried to be annoyed, but the smile on my face could not be tamed.

Attempting to keep the mirth from my voice and failing miserably I responded, "Where is there?"

"There is where you are." If I thought my smile was big before it was damned gynormous now.

"Therein lies your fatal flaw my friend, you should be there. However, I think you should stay here and I will stay there until I have said what I needed to say. I think I've gone cross-eyed"

He crooned, "Well then, say what you need to say. Here is lonely." As if he were standing in front of me, I could envision his pouty lip and wide eyes.

"Well there, as in where I am, is covered in balloon parts. Seriously, there has been a balloon massacre there. Oh the humanity!... Edward?"

"Yeah, Bella."

"Thank you. This is… Thank you." Before the closing word was all the way past my lips, my door was flying open and Edward was sliding in. He grinned at me and folded onto the floor in front of me.

He whispered, "You are so welcome Bella." He held my eyes in his and slowly leaned closer to my face until our foreheads were touching. We both closed our eyes and enjoyed the intimacy of the moment. He sighed, and we opened our eyes.

"Edward?"

"Yes, love?"

"Now that we're here…" I moved closer to him until my lips were brushing his. The smell and the taste and the Edward-ness of this moment clawed at my determination. He swirled around me, and I nearly succumbed. In the end, I would not be deterred. No amount of Edward-ness was going to stop me from saying what needed to be said.

He took in a shaky breath, and I continued, "You… must… k…clean this room with me."

He smiled against my lips and pushed me down until he was lying on top of me, pinning me to the floor. He ran his nose up my jaw and along my ear as he whispered to me, "I would love to." He bit down on my earlobe before jumping off me and grabbing a bag to fill with balloon gore.

I really hoped Edward's plan was tiny. Teeny teeny tiny, like little, really short.

**A/N: As always I love to hear your thoughts. **


	9. Chapter 8

**Thanks to Erica, as always. :)**

**Enjoy the fluffernutter! **

**I of course, do not own these characters.**

**(BPOV)**

I knew Edward had a plan, and he had only just completed phase one, but I felt like he deserved to be wooed a little too. Don't' get me wrong, I fully intended on allowing Edward to execute his plan and I fully intended on enjoying it. I just didn't want this process, this shift from friend to lover, to be one sided. He should have a chance to feel as wanted as he was making me feel. I stood there watching him hum and pick up balloon pieces and was struck with a moment of brilliance. Now I just had to figure out the best way to ask him.

"Come to Miami with me." _I suppose that works._

He turned to me confused. "Huh?" He tilted his head to the side and bunched his eyebrows together. He just looked so friggin' cute. I was momentarily stunned by his adorableness. I managed to shake it off before my cheeks gave away my admiration.

"Um, what I mean is, do you want to come to Miami with me? The magazine is sending me for a few days, and I have enough miles to cover your ticket. I mean you don't have to come if you don't want to, I just thought it would be fun. Um, the magazine is springing for a nice room since they felt so bad about the whole San Diego debacle. God that was awful, do remember how awful that was? Anyway, I mean you do–" I tried to continue, but his hand was firmly planted over my mouth. I was past any level of pride, so I took a whiff. I was pleased to find that all of him smelled delicious.

"Did you just sniff me? Never mind, I'm not removing my hand for you to talk. I would love to go to Miami with you. Just tell me when so I can put in for vacation days. Is it safe for me to remove my hand? You're not going to continuing leaking nonsense are you? Nod for me."

I am nothing if not obedient, I nodded in the negative and he removed his hand. My face grew cold, and I must have been pouting because he smirked at me all crooked like. I wanted to slap the sexy grin right off his face.

"So you'll come?" I hated that I sounded like an insecure little girl. It turned out, I really wanted him there. I really wanted a chance to show him how much he meant to me. I also really wanted to apologize. The more I thought about that night the more disgusted I was becoming with my own behavior. As much as he should not have said what he did, I should not have believed it. I owed Edward an explanation and an apology. He had shown me his willingness to put his heart out there; I owed him the same respect.

I was so lost in my own thoughts I didn't notice Edward infringing on my personal space. By the time I felt his breath on my neck, it was too late to dodge his ruthless attack on my senses.

He whispered, "Bella, I would love to come." The double entendre was not lost on me, and I blushed so furiously I think I singed the collar on my shirt. Being the epitome of a smug bastard, he chuckled and winked before turning and leaving me standing in a puddle of my own goo.

******

After all the drama of late, Alice and I decided a little R&R in the form of friends and booze was called for. Edward and I would be leaving for Miami in a week and would both have to spend some late hours at work preparing for the time away. Tonight would probably be our last opportunity to spend some time together as a group.

We gathered the troops, and before too long the six of us found ourselves preparing to sit around Jalice's living room drinking and shootin' the shit. I took it upon myself to make a pitcher of drinks and headed to the kitchen while the others got settled. After blending a perfect batch of mudslides, I piled plastic cups - I am not stupid enough to provide these goobers with glass ones - snacks, and the blender onto a huge tray Alice kept in the kitchen.

I was so focused on not tripping I didn't notice the precarious seating arrangement unfolding before me. Emmett and Rose were cuddled up on the sofa, Jasper and Alice were on the love seat, and Edward was seated comfortably in the oversized recliner. That left me three options, 1. engage in a little ménage á trois, 2. cuddle up with the carpet or, 3. share a seat with Edward.

Before everything had shifted between us, I would have hopped right on and found a happy, albeit platonic, spot on Edward's lap. If it were a man I had just sort of, maybe, almost started dating, I would choose the floor until our level of physical intimacy dictated lap cuddling. Edward was now precariously positioned between the two. Every part of my body wanted to snuggle on Edward's lap, every nerve ending tingled in want. Just as I thought my brain would melt with indecision, Edward quirked an eyebrow and wiggled his finger at me as if to say, "Don't you dare over think this, come get in my lap right now you silly, silly girl." I grinned like Billy Madison on nudie magazine day and headed towards the recliner.

As I approached, Edward opened his arms and I leaped into his lap. He made a grunt and informed me I should lighten up on my Twinkie consumption. I threatened to punch him in the junk and just like that, things were comfortable, fun, and all felt right with the world.

The more I drank, the closer to Edward I got. By the time I was polishing off my fourth drink, I was practically burrowing into Edward's tasty, tasty skin. My back was to his chest and his arms were around me. Every now and then he would whisper a private joke in my ear, and I prayed my giggle was more noticeable than my shiver. I looked around the room and couldn't help the feeling of satisfaction that filled my heart. I was sitting on Edward's lap surrounded by the laughter of my friends. Life was good.

I came back to the conversation just as Emmett was beginning to reminisce over a bit of college shenanigans.

"Oh my God we were almost toast! Where were we going Bells? Fucking hell I'm getting old."

"Emmett I'll tell it, you never do it right anyway."

"Go right ahead, Bellaboob."

************

"_Ooooh! Let's get Denny's!"_

"_Bella, you're drunk."_

"_So? I neeeeed vegetable beef soup and pancakes!"_

"_Bell-"_

"_Shut up Edward. You're such a serious drunk, ugh get your hand off my boob. Emmett, I know you're in for Denny's." Emmett pulled himself from Rose's face at the sound of his name, and a light behind his eyes intensified at the mention of Denny's. He may have been a double major in Engineering and Computer Science, but the man could appreciate a Denny's Grand Slam like nobody's business._

"_Paaaaaannnnnnnnnnncakes! Bellaboob you are a fucking genius!" Emmett and Rose stood and headed towards the door. I had almost reached them when Edward grabbed my wrist. I turned to face my friend. His face was flushed with heat from drinking, and his hair was a disheveled mess. He also happened to look completely terrified._

"_Bella, wait. Shit, I can't go with you. I'm the RA on duty. I shouldn't be drunk, let alone leaving the dorms."_

"_You have the pager right?"_

"_Yeah, but-"_

"_But nothing. Crankyward, I need you to stop being a little bitch right this second. Man up and put your shoes on, we're going to Denny's. Oh and leave the Ninja Turtle pajama pants on, they're totally awesome."_

_By this point Emmett was laughing so hard he nearly piddled in the hallway. _

_I was finally able to drag Edward out of his room and that's when Rose finally spoke up._

_***********_

"Bella, stop right there. I'm telling the rest. I thought it would be a good idea to take the fire escape stairs. Everyone agreed, we got locked out of the dorm and Edward had to yell to a passing live-in professor to let us in. The end. Who needs another drink?" Rose shifted uncomfortably and started to dislodge herself from Emmett's grasp. He was too quick for her and pulled her back down to the couch. He covered her mouth while he added a few details she omitted.

"Oh baby cakes, you cannot leave out the part where we had to convince you not to climb down a tree from the 6th floor. Or the part where the three of us hid in the stairwell laughing like idiots while Eddie convinced the prof he got locked out investigating some noise out on the fire escape. That shit was classic!"

Rose eventually relented and erupted into a fit of unadulterated laughter. I was giggling so hard my entire body was shaking on Edward's lap. Then things got really interesting. Somewhere in the distance I could hear Jasper complaining about having never heard this story before, I was too distracted by the very distinct uprising happening in Edward's pants to care about exactly what Jasper was saying. It turns out my jubilant laughter was inadvertently causing my derrière to rub against Edward's lap. _Oh the power of being a girl._

I intentionally ground into his erection just hard enough to elicit a deep growl from his chest. I couldn't help but laugh at his obvious perdickament. _Oh man, where do I come up with this stuff?! _

He pushed my hair off my neck and whispered into my ear, "Bella, I am exercising an extreme amount of self control here, I only ask that you not make this any harder," with that he thrust himself into me, "than it has to be. Our time will come, I promise."

He kissed the skin beneath my ear, and I scooted away from his problem area. He was right, ridiculous sex was almost our undoing. I could wait, I could be patient. _Perhaps I need to push things along a little._

I turned until my mouth was at his ear. I loved my friends, but this was ours and I didn't want to share.

"Edward? Are you ever going to ask me out on a date?" He smiled and dropped his head a little before letting out a low chuckle.

"You mean Miami doesn't count?"

"No, for two reasons. One, I asked you. Two, I asked you." He laughed again and my heart thumped.

"Oh I see how it is. Okay, Ms. Isabella Swan, would you do me the honor of accompanying me on a date this Saturday evening?"

"We'll be away."

"Is that a no?"

"Yes, I mean no. I mean, I'd love to." He lowered his mouth to my neck, and I could feel his lips forming a smile. Yes, life was good.

The week was long and work was grueling. I had a deadline to meet before jetting off to Miami on Friday morning and as if that wasn't enough, my boss chose this week to "groom" me. That of course really means, "Bella, I don't feel like doing my job this week. Will you work with the layout team to create the mockup of this month's issue?"

I didn't mind it, I loved the publishing business, I just wished he would promote me. I do so much more than just write articles. I truly have become the creative director, and I was ready for my title to reflect that. Beyond fulfilling my ambition, a job as creative director would allow me the location stability I so craved. I'd be lying if I said the thought of settling down with Edward wasn't at the top of my to do list.

_Edward. _He was incredible this week. He worked as many hours as I did preparing for our time away, but not a day went by that we didn't speak. We sent texts and e-mails, and his was the last voice I heard every night before I went to sleep. His velvety voice always lingering in my dreams, sometimes in the peripheral, other times front and center.

Everyday Edward managed to make me smile; I could only hope I did the same for him. The more we spoke, the more anxious I was for phase two. Our official date was set for Saturday in Miami, I had a feeling I would be introduced to phase two then. Saturday couldn't get here fast enough.

I also had my own plans for this trip. I would let Edward have Saturday. After that, I was taking the reins. I reveled in the opportunity to be mischievous with a splash of romantic. I always had it in me but rarely felt an urge to express it. Edward was changing that.

I smiled as I packed everything I would need in my carryon. _I should write a book about efficient packing. I had it down to a science. _

I placed one last call to the hotel to confirm my plans for Sunday before curling into bed and waiting for my nightly call from Edward. Moments later my phone was ringing, and like Pavlov's dog my entire body responded to the sound.

"Edward." _I could say nothing but his name all day. _

"Bella, do you have any idea how much I enjoy hearing you say my name. Say it again for me."

"Edward." _With a smile on my face._

"That's the stuff dreams are made of. You all packed?"

"I am; you know I am an expert packer. You?" _I am so glad you're taking this trip with me._

"Packed and ready. I have to admit my level of excitement is bordering on embarrassing. I have some big plans for us."

"Oh do you now? It turns out I have some plans of my own." _This is going to be a turning point for us. I can't wait. I hope I can express my smile through the phone. I am going to show you _all_ the ways I care about you._

"I think I just wiggled my butt in anticipation."

"Save those wiggles for me. You'll pick me up tomorrow morning at 7?" _I'll wait forever for you._

"I wouldn't miss it for the world. Goodnight love, sweet dreams."

"Goodnight Edward." _Sweet dreams of you._

Tomorrow was the start of something wonderful, and I couldn't be more ready. I closed my eyes and drifted into a peaceful sleep.

**A/N: Thanks for sticking with me, Miami is finally next! I'd love to get your opinion, review me. :)**


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